Why Small Acts of Kindness Matter More than Valentine’s Day
By Michelle Hays
There’s something about February that makes the whole world blush. Pink storefronts. Red gift bags. Heart-shaped everything. Valentine’s Day arrives like a glittery parade, reminding us to pour on the affection as if love itself needs a spotlight. But here’s the truth I keep coming back to: love isn’t a performance. And it certainly isn’t a seasonal product. Love is quiet. Love is daily. Love is the way we move through the world.
One of the biggest misconceptions about love is that it needs an occasion. A birthday. An anniversary. A holiday marked in red on the calendar. But genuine love, you know the kind that strengthens marriages, deepens friendships, and softens the rough edges of life? That kind of love lives in the ordinary moments. The ones nobody claps for. The ones no one notices except the person receiving them.
I see this all the time in my work as a marriage coach. Couples start working with me thinking their relationship will be transformed by one big breakthrough, one big apology, one big change. But real transformation usually starts in small, consistent choices. The way someone listens without interrupting. The way someone says “thank you” instead of assuming it goes without saying. The way someone leaves the last bite of dessert, even when they secretly want it. Love is rarely loud. It’s often barely detectable from the outside. But the people living inside it feel everything. And yet, every February, so many people feel the sting of being “outside the circle.” Maybe they’re single. Maybe they’re grieving. Maybe their relationship is going through a season that doesn’t look like a Hallmark commercial. Valentine’s Day can amplify what hurts, making perfectly good people feel like they’re somehow missing out. But here’s the gentle truth: love is not exclusive. It doesn’t belong to couples. It belongs to humanity.
One moment from my own life still comes back to me every February. It was a day I wasn’t expecting much of anything…the kind where you just try to get through your to-do list without falling apart. I had stopped at a local café, tired and carrying the weight of a dozen things at once. When the barista handed me my chai tea latte, she paused, looked me right in the eyes, and said, “This one’s on me. I hope your day gets lighter.” That was it. No heart-shaped foam art. No roses. No grand gesture. Just kindness. Pure. Simple. Uncomplicated. And unexpectedly, my day did get lighter. Not because of the free coffee, but because someone cared enough to notice me. To see something in my face and offer softness. I’ve never forgotten it. Not because it was big, but because it was small and sincere…the kind of love we forget we can give to anyone. This is what I wish Valentine’s Day reminded us of: love isn’t something we perform; it’s something we practice.
Love is looking up from your phone when someone is speaking.
Love is putting your hand on your spouse’s back when they walk by.
Love is checking on a neighbor you haven’t seen in a while.
Love is paying attention.
Brian, my husband, is not dramatic about love. He’s not sweeping me off my feet with poetry or serenades. But he does something better…he shows up in the little things. He cleans my car or fills up the gas tank. He comes out to help me carry in the groceries before I ask. And when I’m overwhelmed, he wraps his arms around me and says, “Come here.” Those moments? They build a life.
And here’s something else I want you to hear: when love starts to feel like effort, it usually means we’re tired, not unloving. When life gets busy, we forget how natural it is to be good to each other. But it takes only one small loving act to bring us back…a kind word, a gentle touch, a thoughtful pause.
So, what if we stopped saving love for special occasions? What if we made affection our default setting? What if we let kindness spill everywhere? Into our homes, workplaces, streets, and conversations? Imagine a world where we don’t wait for one February day to remind someone they matter. Imagine a community where love is shown in small, steady doses, all year long. Imagine how many people would feel less alone.
If you do celebrate Valentine’s Day and want to go all out, that’s great! Or keep it simple. Share a smile. A compliment. One of those funny little candy hearts that says “You Rock.” A tiny box of chocolates for the person in your life who makes a difference. It doesn’t need to be romantic. It just needs to be real.
Love is at its strongest when it’s shared freely, without pressure, without performance, without waiting for the “right time.” So yes, enjoy February 14th if you want to. But don’t let it be the only day love gets attention. Let’s celebrate love daily…quietly, intentionally, beautifully.
Because the smallest acts of love often leave the biggest mark. And we never know whose day, or heart, we might lighten with a single kind moment.
Valentine’s Dance
When: Friday, February 13, 6pm – 9pm
Where: E. Pat Larkins Center, 520 MLK Blvd., Pompano Beach
Price: Free
Details: A heartwarming Valentine’s Day Dance features an evening of music, dancing, and fun with friends old and new. This special event is designed to celebrate love, friendship, and community among seniors. The evening includes music, dancing, and the opportunity to connect with friends both familiar and new in a welcoming atmosphere. Ages 21+.