Life passes in the blink of an eye. Learn why choosing love daily — not someday — is the secret to a fulfilling marriage that lasts.
By Michelle Hays
It happens so fast, doesn’t it? One minute we’re watching the New Year’s Eve countdown, clinking Champagne glasses, promising ourselves that this year will be different and then, we blink, and it’s March! Our resolutions have vanished somewhere between the laundry pile and the grocery list, but there’s one promise worth keeping this year, and it has nothing to do with organizing your closets or cutting carbs. It’s about love. We talk about “forever” when we say our vows, but the truth is, forever is built in a series of “nows.” And the older I get, the more I realize how quickly those “nows” can disappear. One blink, and the kids are grown. Another blink, and we’ll be scrolling photos, wondering when our spouse’s hair turned gray or when that wrinkle appeared on our face. We live as if time is unlimited, as if we can always start “next week” or “when things slow down.” But here’s the sobering truth: life doesn’t slow down. My husband Brian very often jokes to friends and family that life is like a roll of toilet paper, it seems to go faster and faster toward the end, and he’s right! Time certainly flies, and I hate to break it to you, but our marriages don’t magically become more loving and more fulfilling with time. Sadly, in most cases, the complete opposite is true. So, this year, let it be about love. Why not notice that even after all this time, you’re both still here, still trying, still learning how to love a little better day after day. Or maybe not. Perhaps your marriage feels like it’s running on autopilot, or maybe blame and resentment have crept in? You are not alone. Love isn’t as easy as we all expected it to be, is it? Sadly, after two divorces, I’ve learned that love isn’t the “feeling” we were taught to chase. Real love is waking up next to the same person every day and choosing them over and over again. It’s our small, daily decisions that really keep love alive. The decision to listen instead of getting defensive, to actively seek understanding of one another rather than going silent, to give each other a little grace when it comes to quirks and annoying habits. I am willing to bet you’d be shocked to hear that, according to Dr. John Gottman’s research, 69% of marital challenges are perpetual. Sounds crazy right? I can’t help but think are those things we get ourselves all worked up about really worth it? Is it really about the annoying habits? Nope. It’s about the stories we tell ourselves about those habits that create frustration and disconnection in our relationships. The real shift begins when one person chooses to stop keeping score and start creating connection. So, as we step into 2026, what if we stopped assuming we have time? What if we stopped letting busyness and bitterness eat up the moments with our partners that could have been precious memories? What if we decided to treat our marriages like the fragile treasures they are… worthy of love, care, attention and protection? Yes, it’s true, the clock’s ticking, and in another blink of an eye, it will be 2027. Will you spend another year feeling taken for granted, unappreciated and disconnected? Gosh, I hope not. I don’t want that for you. The good news is we can all start over at any time. Why not now? Start this year with the awareness that forever is shorter than we think. And remember that the best time to love each other… is always now. Because love, you know the deep connection and real love we all long for, doesn’t happen by accident, my friend. It happens by decision. Love is a decision. Choose wisely. Choose love in 2026!